The Best of the Golden Age of Genealogy: Top Posts of April

 In case you missed it, here are the top three viewed posts of my blog in April.

Wait! What?!! What To Do When An Unexpected DNA Match Happens

Have you submitted DNA and found a close match of a relative you know nothing about?  It happens!  Take a look at this blog entry and share your story in the comments.


When You're Adopted, Which Ancestors Do You Choose?

I often hear from friends that they are uncertain as to which family line they should research.  When you are adopted, this is a question you might ask yourself.  I have shared my story here and would love to hear how you have dealt with adoption in your research.


BillionGraves Takes The Anxiety Out Of Searching For Loved Ones

A recent trip to Quantico National Cemetery gave me the opportunity to share the magic of BillionGraves.  When we visit our loved ones who have passed on, we want to spend time at their burial site and not wandering around aimlessly.  Has BillionGraves helped you locate ancestors?


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When You're Adopted, Which Ancestors Do You Choose?

I have posted before about learning of my paternal adoption as a young adult, and I thought today I might address the issue of "Which ancestors do I trace as an adopted child?"  In the end, it was not a hard decision to make, but at first, I felt conflicted -- as though I was being disloyal to the ancestors I had honoured all my life.

When I was 17 years old, I learned that my mother had a previous marriage, and I was adopted by her second husband.  It is even a little more complicated than that, but, I will leave it at this to avoid any confusion.  I spent my teen years living with my family in Plymouth, Massachusetts, where my father was Historian General of the Mayflower Society.  My home was very much a genealogical home, and I believed that my dad's Mayflower ancestry was also mine.  In my childhood I wrote essays for school based on "my pilgrim ancestors."  I was proud of my heritage.

My dad as a young man.

I was very much a daddy's girl, and even though my father has passed away nearly 10 years now, I believe I still am.  The news of my adoption was a blow.  My older siblings (by dad's first marriage) assured me that he was still my dad, and in fact, they truly wanted to believe that through some act of God, he would also match me genetically.  We all wanted to believe it so much that I think we were a little shocked and disappointed when the DNA test came back clearly indicating he wasn't.  (Time and location of his life and my mother's didn't match anyway, but we can be dreamers!)

I should point out that I did not DNA test in my teens.  I tested in my 40s after my parents had passed away.  And, even armed with information regarding my mother's first husband's background, I was surprised when I received my DNA results.  My entire life I believed I was Scottish, Welsh, English and Native American.  Hmmmmm... here is what Ancestry DNA reported.

The 23andMe results were not much different.  Their database is larger, so the numbers vary somewhat.

The Norwegian and Irish stuck out to me the most, and I immediately became curious about the people whose DNA helped make me -- Me!

When I began researching my paternal line, it was with passionate curiosity.  I told myself that I was merely curious as to the locations my ancestors came from, but as I delved deeper into research, their names and stories began to emerge, and I grew to love them.  As I met relatives willing to share stories and pictures of more recent ancestors, a connection started to form.  Dare I say, bond?  My whole life I never looked like anyone in my family and suddenly I was seeing bits of myself looking back at me in photographs.

My birth father as a young man.

My biological tree began to grow and I was pleased.  Every now and then, however, I would take a look at my father's tree and wonder.  I missed those ancestors, so I began to work on my dad's line as well.  As a professional genealogist, my dad had done much of the leg work, but with the advent of the internet, and many documents being digitized and made available, I was put in the position to flesh out more of the individual stories through documentation and newspaper articles.  So what happened? I began to bond with these ancestors, too.

Love multiplies -- it doesn't divide.  My dad's ancestors were still my own.  The values and traditions they passed down to him, he passed down to me.  Their story is my story because I am continuing to pass those traditions and values down to my children.  But what about the genetic line?  I believe that they, too, are a part of me.  My passion for hard work and education.  My love for history and theatre.  My biological relatives tell me that my strong will and determination in these areas reflect their family.

I have a large family tree.  Oh, it is not without it's brick walls, trust me!  But it is full and vibrant with the love of many centuries of people who made me who I am today.  My tree may be grafted by different trees put together, but it is beautiful and I am proud of it.  So which ancestors did I choose to follow?  All of them.

I hope you have enjoyed today's blog post.   I hope you will become a regular follower by entering your email address in the prompt at the top right side of the blog homepage.  Please feel free, to share on Twitter, Facebook and Google+.  You will find those share buttons just below this entry.  And, as always, I look forward to your comments.

* If you are interested in learning more about DNA testing with Ancestry, go to dna.ancestry.com.  You may also be interested in checking out 23andMe.com*

Wait! What?!! What To Do When An Unexpected DNA Match Happens

I have to tell you, I love DNA testing, as far as genealogy goes.  Seriously.  When you find out as a young adult, as I did, that you have a possible different parent (or set of parents) than those who raised you, your mind goes reeling.  After the initial shock of learning I was adopted by my father, I would find myself daydreaming about who my biological dad might be.  Michael Landon fit the bill quite nicely.  It's true.  He was the dad I wanted to have if I couldn't be genetically related to the father who raised me.  He was, after all, Pa Ingalls!  I'm sure I wasn't alone.

All joking aside, I approached DNA testing as a shot in the dark and with fingers crossed.  I hit a total bull's eye when I connected with a second cousin who not only knew my biological father, but went to high school with him.  Her excitement pretty much matched my own and together we plunged into connecting me with my paternal line.  Why didn't I just ask my mom?  Well, those of you in similar situations understand.  As my mom used to say, "We don't talk about things like that!"  She is gone now.  I wonder at times what she thinks of this DNA journey I've taken.


I will say, the shock that rippled through the East coast of the United States was felt for months as relatives learned of this unknown child that suddenly made her appearance 46 years later.  It was exhilarating at times and other times down right frightening.  You have to understand, not all reunions are cozy and welcoming.  While my story didn't have a fairy tale ending, I did make some wonderful connections and the relationships to this day are becoming stronger.  You can read more about my DNA story on Ancestry's Blog.

I am used to being the DNA shocker in the family.  Granted it is only the paternal side of the family that was a surprise to me, as my mother who raised me is the same person who gave birth to me.  Nonetheless, the revelation ruffled feathers and gave me a glimpse of how it must feel for the relatives on the other side of the DNA reveal.  Well, I thought I understood how they felt.

Yesterday,  I opened my Ancestry DNA result page.  I used to stalk the page for updates the first year my results were in.  Lately, I remember to take a look when I suddenly get a notification that someone may have matched me.  Typically the results are within the  4-6th cousin range, so unless I'm looking to find some missing links to ancestors, I tend to be neglectful of the DNA page.  Yes, I know.  Shame. Shame. Shame.

Back to yesterday.  I was working on DNA research for a client and decided to take a peek at my own folder and was somewhat surprised to see a rather close match appear.  First - Second cousin.  Okay.  That could mean a few things.  It could quite literally be a first or second cousin.  Or, it could be an Aunt.  Or, a first cousin once removed.  There are a variety of scenarios and we have to allow room for error.

Here's the thing.  It's on my side of the family where 1. "The tree don't branch much," and 2. In the immediate levels of possible connection, the parents had only one or two children.  So.... basically, I know all my cousins -- on the first and second level.  (And sometimes even third and some removed.)  So, who had a baby a generation or so ago and didn't tell anyone?  The shock! And now it is our turn to wonder Who? When? Where? What?

So what do you do?  You keep it classy.  That's what you do.  You reach out to the individual and introduce yourself.  You ask a question or two and then you let the matter drop.  Allow them to process their own DNA thoughts.  They may not be aware of any situation that would lead them to an unknown family.  And when the time comes that they answer the message you sent, you respect their answers and any questions they have.

We live in a new generation.  There are not a lot of things that can shock us.  But I will say this.  DNA testing is very much like opening Pandora's Box.  You have to be prepared to expect the unexpected.  Plan ahead for all possible scenarios you could encounter and how you may want to respond.   And if you think that there may be some things that you just can't or won't be able to get past, then you may want to rethink taking a DNA test.

I hope you have enjoyed today's blog post.   I hope you will become a regular follower by entering your email address in the prompt at the top right side of the blog homepage.  Please feel free, to share on Twitter, Facebook and Google+.  You will find those share buttons just below this entry.  And, as always, I look forward to your comments.

* If you are interested in learning more about DNA testing with Ancestry, go to dna.ancestry.com. *

The Best of The Golden Age of Genealogy: The Top 3 Posts of the Week

The following are the top three viewed posts of my blog this week.

GraveStones: Should the Living Be Included with the Dead

This past week Arlington National Cemetery denied a family the request to add their living mother's name to their father's newly made headstone.  Weigh in and let me know what you think!

Is DNA Testing Right for Me? 

There are a great many DNA tests available for genealogical purposes.  How can I be sure DNA testing is right for me?  Did you take a DNA test?  Were you able to use the results to break down any brick walls?  Be sure to share your story in the comments!

Genealogy: My Addiction

Has family research taken over your life?  Have you had to take a step back now and again?  How have you learned to keep your own Genealogy Addiction under control?  I would love to hear from you!  Reply to the post in the comment section and let's get a discussion going.  Others may benefit from your wisdom!

If you are enjoying The Golden Age of Genealogy, please like and share with your friends on Facebook, Twitter and GooglePlus.  To avoid missing future blog posts, remember to follow me! 

Is DNA Testing Right For Me?

I am regularly asked about DNA testing.  Friends are curious as to which test on the market is the best, and will genetic testing help with doing genealogy.  When it comes to the various DNA companies on the market, I am no expert.  I know why I chose to do DNA and the two companies I selected were for a specific purpose.

First and foremost I wanted to see if I could find any relatives on my paternal side.  I knew nothing about my biological father, and I felt that Ancestry DNA may open the door for me in this search.  You can read about my journey in Ancestry's Blog, from an interview I did with them in 2014.  

The second company I chose was 23andMe.  Having no medical history on my paternal side, I was curious to see what information could be gleaned from their comprehensive DNA test.  Since my testing with 23andMe there have been changes in their policies as they worked to be FDA compliant.  I am grateful I tested before those changes were made.  Did I find any glaring medical information that I was ever so grateful to have?  Not really.  But there were some things that helped me better understand my medical history. 

Back to the question of whether or not a person should do a DNA test for genealogical purposes.  My response is this:  No matter which company you choose to test with, you should first consider the following:

• What is my reason for taking the DNA test?
• Am I willing to accept that I may not receive any close relative matches?
• Am I willing to accept a result that reveals one (or both) of my parents is not genetically related to me?
•  Am I willing to accept the possibility that my “new found family” may not want to have contact?

While I tested with Ancestry to find my biological family, and have since helped other adoptees do the same, not everyone testing is using DNA to find long lost birth family.  

Perhaps you are testing to find your ancestral regions such as Poland, Scotland or perhaps Africa.  By testing, you may be able to fill in some gaps in your family history.  You may be hoping to connect with relatives you didn’t know you had; however, sometimes close relative matches don’t happen.  It is quite possible that the closest connection you make is with a 4^th to distant cousin.  Don’t be discouraged!  Reach out to those cousins and compare information.  But remember, they are also on a journey to learn about family.  Do not be impatient if they don’t have at their fingertips the answers you are seeking.

The remaining two questions listed above should be seriously considered when doing any DNA test.  We don’t know what the results are going to reveal and we need to be mentally and emotionally prepared.  We are imperfect people living in an imperfect world.  Should you find that you do not genetically match your family members, you should take time to process this new information.

Since the DNA testing, my connection to my paternal family has been for the most part positive.  I have developed some close relationships and have been made to feel a part of their family.  For those members less accepting, I understand.  It's nothing personal.  Just DNA.

Do I recommend DNA testing for genealogical purposes?  Only you can answer that question.  If you decide to test, I wish you the utmost luck.  It can be a wonderful experience that will open your eyes to what makes you, you.

You can learn more about DNA testing with the companies mentioned in this blog post by visiting 23andMe.com  and DNA.Ancestry.com.