Reflections of a GraveFinder -- They Were The Dash.

 

It is no secret that I love volunteering for BillionGraves.  I love that with so little effort and just a donation of my time, I can provide a resource for thousands of people searching for a record for their ancestor or loved one.  Pure and simple.  It’s me, my iPhone and a cemetery.   Step.  Point.  Click.  Move to the next headstone.  Step.  Point. Click.  And yet, it is not as simple as that.  There is the dash.

What do I mean by “the dash?”  I am sure by now you have heard it said that we all have two dates and a dash, and we better make that dash count.  What about those dashes I pass moment by moment as I individually photograph each grave?  Those dashes meant something to a lot of people.  What happened in those dashes affected the lives of others and should be remembered.

Over the past years I have photographed over 150 thousand headstones.  That is a lot of memorials.  Do I stop and think of each person as I move along?  Truthfully, no.  I sometimes zone out because the repetition of the process over a two to five hour timeframe can lead to one’s mind wandering.  But I do try to focus.  To me, it’s a matter of respect.

Each headstone has a name.  Sometimes, as I pass by, I state the name aloud and say hello.  I notice the religious symbol on the stone.  I read the epitaph. Sometimes there is a spouse buried there, as well.  Two feet to the left may be an infant child.  My heart melts and I get emotional as though suddenly this is my family and I am sharing in the loss.

There are the feelings of pride, too.  I have photographed in Arlington, Quantico and Gettysburg.  I have passed soldiers of all ranks and station.  Purple Heart recipients.  Some who died in war and others who lived very long lives.  In my heart, I thank them all for their service.  I say a silent prayer.

I see mementoes on or beside the headstones.  A case of beer and a pack of cigarettes.  Teddy bears.  Matchbox cars.  A rock.  A dime.  Sometimes even a black box, holding who knows what?  I don’t look inside.  It’s sacred.  All memories relating to the dash.

And sometimes I meet the families.  Typically, when I photograph a cemetery and mourners come to pay their respects, I will stop photographing.  I move away or go somewhere else in the cemetery so as to give the visitors privacy.  Sometimes I am so focused I don’t see the family members walk towards me, curious as to what I am doing here.  Did I lose a loved one, as well?  Did I know their father?  Mother?  Friend?  No.  I am here for record preservation purposes only.  After a brief explanation of why I am in the cemetery, the real interaction begins.  The family members want to share their experiences about their loved ones.  They want the stories told.  I’m here to preserve the dates.  They are here to remember the dash.

What I do is easy.  It’s just me, the iPhone and a cemetery.  Step. Point. Click.  Move to the next headstone.  But as volunteers for any genealogical project, may we pause to remember for whom we are doing this work?  What we do goes beyond record preservation.  May our work reflect our respect for the name engraved on the stone.  They are more than just a name and two dates.  They were the dash.

Do QR Codes Have A Place In Cemeteries?

In the late 1970s, there was a cemetery my school bus passed every day.  One of the headstones that faced the street displayed a photograph of the child buried there.  At the time, I found the image unsettling and would avoid looking at the grave when we passed by.  I’m not sure why it bothered me.  I had spent many hours in cemeteries doing research with my genealogist parents, but as a 12 year old, it was beyond my understanding of why a picture would be put on a headstone. 

Today, I am a volunteer with an online records preservation site called BillionGraves.  As a volunteer, I visit cemeteries throughout the world and photograph headstones which later are transcribed and made available with GPS coordinates for individuals searching for their ancestors.  Every once in a while I come across a headstone that displays a picture of the deceased.  It no longer unsettles me as it did when I was a youth.  It is a wonderful reminder that the individual buried there is more than a name and two dates etched in stone.  But, just as I have adjusted to seeing the faces of the deceased on headstones, a new technology has emerged providing information beyond the imagery and inscription. And while we live in the age of ever advancing technology, not everyone is comfortable with this new addition to the headstones -- the QR code. 

If you are not familiar with the term QR code, it is a digital square box that can be scanned to obtain information regarding the item it is attached to.  So why place a QR code on a headstone?  Who is doing the scanning and how? 

QR Codes on Headstones

QR codes on headstones began to make their appearance within the last decade.  Who started the process is debatable.  There are a variety companies in the United States that claim they were the first, however, the earliest reference I was able to come across is Quiring Monuments, a Seattle based company who placed their codes on headstones in 2011. The idea was to provide additional information regarding the deceased, such as an obituary, family stories, and any other documentation of historical importance.  A virtual records repository, if you will.  Anyone researching the individual would simply scan the QR code with a smart phone, and the photographs and documents pertaining to that person would be made available through a site the family or cemetery administration managed.  

Anyone who has researched family history will tell you that courthouses burn, documents fade with time, and often information is misplaced, mislabeled or lost.  A stone with an etched QR code would provide an opportunity to have access to those documents even after the original records can no longer be found.  For genealogical purposes this seems like a wonderful idea if you know who the individual is, where they are buried, and know the QR code is there.  

Breaking Away From Tradition

Cemeteries have long been a place where people go to pay their respects to a loved one.  Genealogists visit cemeteries to locate ancestors and retrieve vital information etched on the stone.  It’s all about the family and preserving the memory of those who have gone before.  The expectation is that the cemetery be peaceful, if not sacred.  Have we lost sight of what the intent of those visits are, or have we advanced the opportunity to keep the memory of our ancestors alive and in greater detail?

There was a time when placing an image on a gravestone was considered controversial.  Jewish law and Christianity prohibit idol worship, and so many people rejected the idea of adding a photograph to their loved one’s grave fearing that the prayers said at the grave site might be misconstrued and seen as praying to the deceased. 

“Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.”

                                                                                    Exodus 20:3-4

But while some people rejected the idea of adding images citing religious beliefs, others begged the question, “Are we visiting the cemetery to visit our dead or to pray to God?”  If the intent is to visit and keep the memory of the loved one alive, then why not a photograph?  And if not a photograph, why not a QR code?

I recently asked a group of friends what they thought of QR codes on cemetery headstones.  While some people felt it would be a wonderful way to learn about people buried in a cemetery, others felt that bringing technology into the cemetery would be "tacky."  Most agreed that tying information regarding the individual and the headstone to some sort of database would be sufficient.  But we have that already, don’t we?  Sites such as BillionGraves and FindAGrave do just that.  They have taken the image of the headstone and attached with it further documentation regarding the deceased. 

So what to do with the QR codes?  One individual suggested that QR codes be allowed if the family members request one.  When sites such as BillionGraves or FindAGrave digitize the headstone, the QR code could be attached, providing the viewer with additional information on their ancestor.

And what about photographs displayed on headstones?  While some people felt it was a nice idea, many others did not, pointing out that too often the images etched into the stone do not turn out well, and that the digital photographs inserted in the stones fade and are destroyed by the elements of nature.

 Let me hear from you! 

What are your thoughts regarding cemetery headstones?  Should headstones only display names and dates, or should we allow technology to take a place within the graveyard?

Gravestones: Should the living be included with the dead?

Arlington National Cemetery, 2014.

Cemeteries are a large part of my Genealogical world.  I spend a great amount of time traipsing through graveyards throughout Virginia and the surrounding states, photographing headstones in an effort to preserve the information recorded on them.  The headstones I digitize are then uploaded on the BillionGraves site where they are transcribed by myself or other BillionGraves volunteers.  The photograph, transcription, and gps location of each gravestone is now available for anyone doing family history research.  Currently I have digitized over 130k graves with BillionGraves.

One of the issues that gives me pause is whether or not to photograph a headstone that includes the name of a living person, even if other individuals listed on the stone are deceased.  The information gleaned from a headstone can be what tears down the proverbial brick wall for a genealogist.  Nonetheless, it feels odd to me at times to photograph a stone that includes the name and birth date of a possible living individual.  So, when an issue regarding a tombstone at Arlington National Cemetery appeared on the news last night, my ears perked up.  I wanted to see what America's most famous cemetery had to say on the matter.  It appears the deciding officials at Arlington are conflicted, as well.

Coast Guard Officer Paul Peak passed away in October 2014.  He and his wife of 70 years had made the decision, as I am sure many spouses do, to be buried together.  The Peak family had the headstone made with their father's name, military information, along with his birth and death dates.  They also included their mother's name to the stone with the intention of filling in her life details after her passing.  Arlington National Cemetery denied the request.  7 On Your Side reported that the reason for denying the request is: "She may remarry."  Mrs. Peak is 95 years of age.  Keep in mind, that there are gravestones in Arlington National Cemetery that have the names and birth dates of living spouses.

I can understand to some extent where Arlington National Cemetery officials are coming from.  My grandmother became a widow back in the 1960s and her husband was buried in Arlington.  When my grandmother passed in 2008, her information was added to the stone when she was interred with her husband.  I can see why waiting would have been prudent then.  But to tell a woman of 95 years that she cannot have her information added at this time because she might remarry is ridiculous, considering there has never been a standard rule of thumb regarding living spouses being added to headstones in Arlington.

What are your thoughts?  Do you think cemeteries should allow the names of living individuals on headstones along with their deceased loved ones?